cez_123

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:23:30 GMT

never been this bad before.
This depression, i feel like the slightest thing is gonna happen and im going to snap.
i've drank but not even in this drunken stupor can i forget about my feelings.
I just want to sleep and leave it at that.
i was excited for christmas but now i couldn't give two flying fucks.
I have no friends absolutely none, i dont go out.
what happened to me?
why cant life have a pause button so i can sort shit out and then press play, insted of things fast forwarding before my eyes
bye

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 22:45:48 GMT

fucking fuck fuck fuck......... i swear to god im gonna get high any minute now

Decisions????????

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 22:16:55 GMT

It would appear i am the cause of all of clare's trouble.
How? i hear you ask, well lets start
Clare ditched her "friends" for me. hmmmm is that comment not suppose to hurt me?
well to be quite fair it does, and i dont want anything to do with anyone.
So you can all rejoice now cos i will not been seen with clare whilst in glossop so you can have her all to yourselves.
Now don't ya feel better.
Infact, im gonna cut down on seeing her, see to much off her(or so i get the impression) so yeah

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 22:19:37 GMT

who likes getting talked about? yay i do evidently =/

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 14:32:23 GMT

You've got magic inside your finger tips
its leaking out all over my skin
everytime that i get close to you
your makin me weak with the way you
look through those eyes

And all i see is your face
all i need is your touch
wake me up with your lips
come at me from up above
yeaaaa, oh i need you

I remember the way that you move
your dancin easily through my dreams
its hittin me harder and harder with all your smiles
you are crazy gentle in the way you kiss

All i see is your face
all i need is your touch
wake me up with your lips
come at me from up above

Oh baby i need you
to see me, the way i see you
lovely, wide awake in
the middle of my dreams

And all i see is your face
all i need is your touch
wake me up with your lips
come at me from up above

All i see is your face
all i need is your touch
wake me up with your lips
come at me from up above
yeaaaa, oh oh da da da do do do do do
ahhhhhh, i ..... i need you

For Clare <3

angry

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 13:56:40 GMT

yeah you go with that one then, ffs
try so hard to make a good impression all i get is shit for it i wont try anymore thank ya very much
*shuts self off*

Boredddddddd

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:21:30 GMT

Today=most boring day ever in the exsistence of boring days ugh.
PUb quiz tonight, maybe?
life is but a bore need some excitement, excitement is good times

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 21:31:13 GMT

Considering doing it yep i might just do it and get it over with, i wonder what its like to go.

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 23:06:43 GMT

There you go
Flashing fever from your eyes
Hey baby, come over here
And shut them tight

I'm not denyin'
We're flying above it all
Hold my hand, don't let me fall
You've such amazing grace
I've never felt this way

Oh, show me heaven
Cover me
Leave me breathless
Oh, show me heaven, babe

Here I go
I'm shakin' just like the reeds
Hey baby,
I need your hand to steady me

I'm not denyin'
I'm frightened as much as you
Though I'm barely touching you
I've shivers down my spine

And it feels divine

Oh, show me heaven
Cover me
Leave me breathless
Oh, show me heaven, babe

If you know what it's like
To dream a dream
Baby hold me tight
And let this be

Oh, heaven
Cover me
Leave me breathless
Oh, show me heaven, please
Leave me breathless
Leave me breathless
Cover me

The best day for feelings ever. Never had that with anyone, will be dreaming of that image tonight.<3

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:11:02 GMT

can i die now plz, ugh
this is really taking its toll on me
and for what?
fuck life *goes dies*

summer plans [edit]

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 22:45:29 GMT

summer plans not sure
errr go out get pissed possibly lol
ermmm after tht not entiraly sure, we'll see

Love Is Losing Game

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 18:01:29 GMT

For you I was a flame
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came
Love is a losing game

One I wish I never played
Oh what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand
Love is a losing hand

Self professed... profound
Till the chips were down
...know you're a gambling man
Love is a losing hand

Though I'm rather blind
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds
And laughed at by the gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 14:51:25 GMT

Did I say that you're amazing?
Did I mention how I knew?
See how angels watch in wonder
Each time I think of you.

Did I tell you how you move me?
Perhaps you had a clue.
Watch how Cupid breaks his bowstring
Each time I think of you.

Did I say that you you're so special?
I'm sure you know it's true.
Look the Gods themselves stop fighting
Each time I think of you.

Did I tell you that I love you?
Perhaps you knew this too,
For all the hosts of heaven stumble
Each time I think of you.

Im so confused at this moment in time, ive never felt this hurt, this betrayed. This total loss of emotion. I feel empty, my life's worth has decreased. Is it worth it? i dont know anymore but like KJ said, "woman aye".

THIS SUMMER!!!

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 20:51:55 GMT

Determined to make this summer awesome, so plans.
-Saturday camping in preston
-26th FTW
-28th FTW clare shall be spoiled
AUGUST
-hayli have a party kthnx
-caravan for the week sometime and blackpool for ride woo
-SOLFEST FTW
AND try and fit alton towers in there as well, sounds good to me, Me likey xD

Clare

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 19:13:27 GMT

Pull back the shield between us, and I’ll kiss you,
Drop your defences and come, into my arms.
I’m all for believing, I’m all for believing.

I’m all for believing if you can reveal the true colours within.

I know you blanket your mind so much that I am blind, but I, I see you’ve painted your soul into your guard,
I’m all for believing, I’m all for believing

I need to know just how you feel, to comfort you; I need to find the key to let me in, into your heart, to find your soul.

Pull back the shield between us, and I’ll kiss you,
Drop your defences and come, into my arms.

I’m all for believing, if you can reveal, the true colours within,
And say you will be there for me to hold, when the faith grows old and life turns cold, when the faith grows old, and life turns cold.
So if you’re cold I will stay, maybe fate will guide the way. I believe in what I see and baby we were meant to be,
Just believe. (we're meant to be)
Just believe. (we're meant to be)
Just believe. (we're meant to be)
Trust in me.

Clare im so glad i got all that of my chest, i know all of my acrimony as gone and this is because of you.
Your amazing and im so in love with you, im sorry for what i've done and i know now after talking to you that things will be different.
I love youx

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 13:52:05 GMT

BLAH BLAH BLAH ,CLARE's sex is amazing lalala it is mindblowing yes it is xD
it makes me happy in my pants oh yes it does :D lalala she makes me cough cough SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway yeah Clare= amazing sex to sum it up nicely xD and im in love with her.xxx

Fri, 08 May 2009 00:26:51 GMT

Canney wait till next Friday. Friday 15th to be precise xD. As the sex(i.e. being clare) leaves school, Yay. This makes me incredibly happy. ALso i finally get to give her, her birthday presents lol, been nearly 3 months since her birthday. I got her Ipod like 3 weeks after her birthday so i was kinda waiting for the right time to give her it, so she suggested this would be a good time as she leaves hell(the comp) lol and will be giddy. YAY. Im gonna get a cake as she failed to get any of her own birthday cake and thats kinda bad, so yes cake, hillium balloon, Ipod, Ipod dock and cuteness that is ze teddy bear awwwwwwwwwwwww xD. then apparantly camping at the mast. It should be good but kinda worried about the weather as it's normally windy up there, i dont wanna wake up in skegness lmao. Anyways yes shall be good.

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 10:33:51 GMT

well thats kinda lame :/

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 23:45:23 GMT

wow. How much did that hurt :(

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 17:21:19 GMT

Clare should give me lapdance yes plz xD
tomorrow to be precise yes, yes she should lol
you should also get a quiteER bed lol hahaha
<3

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 19:42:12 GMT

Okay so last 2 days have been interesting to say the least lol. On friday i went to smexi's house until 9:30 pm cos she had to go chill with the G's at bryony's house. So i was all up for staying in and sleeping. Mother had her friend over so i had to look after my sister, which meant not GOING OUT. Then i get an FaceBook message at like 11:30 pm or something, and is smexi complaining that the chavs are idiots, ( well she didn't say that but that what they are lol so i agreed to meet her at shaw lane at 12:30am 12:30 am yes that's right lol.

So anywayz this meant sneaking out, oh joy of life, so i did and was paranoid that i might have left the front door open and given the game away lol. So i got to shaw lane and sat and waited in the cold smoking, i was quite content on the rape path LMAO.

So then i see clare and some guy walking down and clare didn't look to happy awwwwwww=[. So we got to the top of shaw lane and sat on a wall for about 10 mins and clare seemed sad so i try to makes her feel better. I think she was torn between going back to chavland or going home to nice charlesworth house, hmmmmmm decisions, decisions lol. SO then it started raining, just to add to the joy so we waited in bus stop till my stupid lighter worked. Then we had to trekk all the way to charlesworth. We saw some guy on the way and i thought he had a dog but on closer inspection he was stumbaling and had a bag, yes i am blind so we walked in the middle of the road and i tried to look like a dude to deter the guy LMAO i think it might of failed but hey ho.

Anywayz, we continued and wondered whether the Grey Mare was open, which it was how exciting lol. Then clare was going on about getting me a taxi home, but im too awesome to get a taxi home. xD So we got to clares and i left her to sort her excuses out to her mother lol and i continued the trekk back to my house. I developed a limp lol so journey was fun and plus i could hear rustling in the dark field. Scary. Anyways i made it home alive.

SO Saturday, the day things could of happened ffs xD. I got to clares at 5pm and she thought it would be a good idea to trekk to a quarry, little did i know this would end in tears lol. SO we took jack with us through a field of sheep and this killed my smoke infested lungs lol so i nearly died and plus my hair was getting wind swept and rained on. =[

So we lay on the quarry for abit and then we saw Ted Bundy and decided to hot tail it outa there lol. ESTABLISHED: Jack likes bush's lol. We tried to lift jack over a barbed wired fence but clare is weak so there for he had to squeeze through it lol. This is when bad times happened, i developed a cold in which i couldn't and still cant breath :@. so close, SOooooooo close ahhhh wellz :D

Sorry

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 04:26:17 GMT

Sorry
okay so i know what i said was mean and hurtful, but i didn't mean it not a word of it. How could i, i love you and thats all there is to it.
I was just taking my anger out on you because there was no one else that would listen, and even when you did listen i still managed to fuck things up. SO i'm sorry, and i understand if you hate me if only a little bit xD If i get like that again you have permission to slap me okay (Y)
I love you XDxx

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:49:50 GMT

Helloooooo LiveJournal, why do i have you idk. But i'm growing to love you, yes im growing to love a website lol. So what am i suppose to do now, write about my day? nah you couldn't handle the hotness of it lol Clare >.> ermmmmm yeah so anywayz, yeah i went pub, yes it really is that interesting lol. I think that peolpe should stop looking at peoples clevage, it's just not appropiate unless it's clare lol. errrrrrrr i've knida learnt to deal with the whole being out thing, yay me lol see clare i'm good. Yeah thats it really don't know what else to write so there ya go. xD

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 02:26:58 GMT

Clareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i'm bored and no-one is online and all i have is this live journal thing lol so im gonna be really annoying and write in it forever nah i'll forget after a day that i have it lol Clare i hope you'll be nice tomorrow well later today even and make me a brew pleaseeeee also get sweets yeah yeah kk cheers lolxxx (L)

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 01:01:16 GMT

Okay, attempt 2 at writing a bloody entry lol. Errrr stealing shoes is funny on so many levels lol xD Clare is smexi yay xD I'm paranoid about Helen aka your mother lol she makes me nervous lol Funny your brother being downstairs and u shouting LESBIANS lol gawd we're lame at life but i find it funny. Im sorry for being a goon sometimes, im a weird person u might say. i shall try and be more out for you i guess if i must lol just to make you happy, and omg distracted sean connery was mentioned on telly JACK XD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont do scary face it makes me cry i dont want to be murdered by some1 i love lol im rambling now lol errr i say err alot don't i, i'll try and stop. I don't deserve you u kno just cos ur smexi lol xD i love ya tho foo i shall see ya tomorrow at 4:30pm as per and lol@jaymz and his obvious jealously hahahahahhahaha at u jaymz ha bloody ha lol
love youxxx